Man oh man do I have a post for you today. So in my last post I talked about changing my perspective and feeling blessed instead of stressed. I also talked about having a calm before the storm hit, well… the calm did not last as long as I thought it would.
In fact, it lasted about two to three days. Yeah….two or three days after posting I got laid off from my job. It hit me pretty hard because I did not see it coming. Even though I should have: The owner had just moved to another state and I kept hearing there were going to be changes. Well I didn’t know the changes meant the newest hires had to go. Well, I immediately went into my old ways and started to sink into self pity and feel bad for myself.
But then something different happened, I caught myself and quickly switched gears. Feeling sorry for myself was not going to change my circumstances. So I went out applied somewhere and got a job within two days. My start date was July 5th which meant I had plenty of time to enjoy time with my son and just enjoy relaxation before I got back into the grind.
Well something happened in those two weeks and this Monday I had an epiphany. All this time I have been talking about taking action and really working toward being an actress and I have been honest about my journey—the ups and the downs.
Making the decision to become an actress and really going for it has been something I struggled with since I was a little girl. I’ve gone back and forth “Yes I do. No I don’t.” and at times I have even tried convincing myself that this is not something I want.
Why? Because my dream terrifies me, which is true for everyone’s dream I’m sure.
Every time I’d talk myself out of wanting to be an actress I would feel sad, angry, and lost. It may seem cliché but it is true, I was fighting against myself. What scared me? Well many things, one being I believed that I would have to sacrifice my family and I would never be able to keep a marriage if I made it. Which is not true and deep down I know that. Another reason I came up with once I got married and had a baby was that to make it I have to make big sacrifices that I couldn’t do because I had family to help support.
But when I push my doubts aside and decide to go for it, I end up putting 100 obstacles in my way that keep me from going for it 100%. It’s like a never ending cycle.
Now back to my epiphany that I had on Monday. I was thinking about everything, my life, my dreams, my son, my husband, this job I was going to start. I was feeling unhappy and I wasn’t sure why… I got a job and everything was going to be okay so why did I feel like the opposite. I decided to instead of watching and endless parade of “Boy Meets World” (Throwback :p) I would do something productive and listen to a motivational book. I am not a huge fan of audio books or even motivational books (my mom and husband are always trying to get me to read and I never do). So when I decided I needed some guidance, I decided why not?
I picked Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robins because I felt that he would be the easiest to bare because I really like him. While listening that is when it hit me. It was crazy and it scared me beyond belief, but more than that it excited me and I felt like this is it!
This is what I NEED to do to finally make my dreams come true. I started to cry and as I am writing this I’m getting choked up and teary-eyed. I was so motivated that I listened to whole book that day. Get on with it already!!! I know I am rambling but this is a BIG DEAL and I want make sure you get the full story. So when this decision came to me I had to talk to Mario (my husband) and make sure I had his full support, and of course him being the most supportive loving guy in the world he did and he was excited for me, the decision was final.
I DECIDED NOT TO GO BACK TO WORK AND ONLY FOCUS ON MY ACTING. Okay some of you are like “That’s it? Really? I read all this for that?” But the thing is, that is a big deal for me. It terrifies to me because we have a son, a house and bills to pay for. And it’s a scary thing to do and we will be tight with money and things will get hard. But this is something I have to do if I am ever going to really go for it. Anyone who has been successful has had to make a decision and do something that people thought they were crazy for doing. THIS is my thing. I live my life in fear. Fear of everything and I am tired of it and I am choosing to BE BRAVE.
So that is my advice for this post guys, BE BRAVE. Guys, I know going for your dreams can be scary but you know what’s scarier? NEVER going for your dreams. You will spend your life sad, angry, or lost. Be brave and just go for it. Whatever that big scary step may be for you, just take that leap of faith. I guarantee you’ll come out stronger and better in the end.
Until next time guys, Stay stress free.
If you are in need of any motivation listen to Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robins. The link is below.
And I am currently listening to You’re a Badass by Jen Sincero; this book just confirmed that the decision I was making was the right one. You can find this book on audible.com
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