Ok it’s been a month since my last blog and it’s not like I
haven’t had the time or anything, because honestly, that is really all I have
had lately. But I feel like I am going through
a depression. Maybe I’m being a little dramatic, either way I am finding it
hard to find the motivation to do anything. I would get on the computer and
open up Word and then….. Bleh…NOTHING. I feel the bed pulling me toward it and I
just close everything up and pull the covers over me.
Wow you are pathetic… is
that what crossed your mind? Well I’d be shocked if it didn’t because it crosses
my mind several times while lying in bed. What is my problem now you ask?
EVERYTHING!!! Ok again with the
dramatics, but really nothing has changed from the last blog. What I didn’t
mention in the last blog is that I suffer from anxiety. And that is what this
blog is going to be about. ANXIETY. If you have it you know how inconvenient it
can be and if you don’t have it you just don’t know how lucky you are. There
are several types of anxiety that a person can suffer from and there are
several things that can cause it. Stress, what you eat, runs in the family,
change in hormones, and so much more. Can I just say check, check and check.
You know that feeling you get when you’re on a roller coaster and you know the
drop is about to come but you’re not quite sure when? Your heart in your throat
beating at a hundred miles per minute, you feel yourself holding your breath.
That is what anxiety feels like but at the most inconvenient times. Like
driving home , or about to go to bed, or walking down the street, times when
there’s really no need for you to feel anxious, that is when anxiety decides to
pay you a surprise visit. The scariest part about the rollercoaster is when you
finally see it, the drop, that is the moment you realize you have no control of
the situation. Well that feeling is also one of the scariest parts about
anxiety for me. That moment when I acknowledge the anxiety, the moment that I give
it life. At that very moment I find myself thinking of EVERY worst case
scenario for any situation that can ever happen to me. Even when I try to think
of positive things like my family, well then that leads me to thinking how much
I love them and how I can’t live without them and one day they are going to
die.
Intense I know. Then I quickly change gears and start thinking about
Disney and how much I love Disney.
But then that turns into I’m no longer a
little girl and I am getting older and one day I’m going to be dead and that’s
it! I’m dead! No more Dilia. Even as I am writing this, my heart is sinking and
I’m starting to feel like I can’t breathe. You are insane!! Is that what you’re
thinking now? Well yeah that’s the scariest part for me. In that moment I feel
like I’m going crazy.
I have absolutely no control over my own thoughts. Ok, this
blog is getting kind of intense and depressing. The point of me explaining all of
this is one, just like the first blog, to release stress and anxiety. Two, it helps other people such as my friends
and family understand a little of what I am going through. Three, maybe, just
maybe I might be able to help someone who is going through the same thing, or
help you understand that person that is suffering from anxiety.
This is my advice to anyone out there who may struggle with
anxiety; search yourself and find that thing that helps distract your mind from
anxiety. For example, for me, it’s putting on a movie, taking a shower, or
talking to my fiancé.
However, if I am
ever in situation where I can’t do any of those things, I recently learned a
new technique that has helped a lot. Breathe-in for four seconds, hold for two
seconds, and then exhale for six seconds. It may seem weird but it works.
Anxiety can really be a scary thing, whether it’s the person going through it
or for the people surrounding a person going through it. Everybody in that
situation just feels absolutely helpless. But listen to this; even though you
feel helpless, you are NOT helpless. You do have control. It may not seem that
way in the moment, and believe me I know, but I’ve seen people overcome anxiety
and if they can, why can’t I and why can’t you?
My first suggestion is to do what I’ve done, find your
distraction. Whether it is watching a moving, taking a shower, listening to
music, going for a walk , talking to someone, whatever it may be do it the
second you start to feel the anxiety creep in.
Second, really try the breathing techniques and also try
meditation (guided mediation for anti-anxiety). They have both really worked
for me.
And lastly take time to really think about what is causing
your anxiety and understand that it has no control over you and you can
overcome it. I am still working on that last part.
Well that’s all for now. Until my next break from reality,
stay stress free.
And if you would like try out the mediation here's a link to a guided meditation for anti-anxiety :
